


The Jester, The Fool And The Pizza-Man

by sandean_cas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: April Fools' Day, Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Falling in Love, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Human Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Meddling Sam Winchester, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Misunderstood Dean Winchester, Oblivious Sam Winchester, Pizza Delivery Person Dean Winchester, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Prankster Sam Winchester, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Quote: I learned that from the pizza man. (Supernatural), Sam Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester is Not Amused, Sam Winchester is Scarred For Life, Sam Winchester is So Done, Sam Winchester's Hair, The Pizza Man (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:15:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23430790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandean_cas/pseuds/sandean_cas
Summary: “Hey Cass.” Sam says, pouring his cup of coffee.He’s halfway out of the room when he suddenly turns back and smiles brightly at him. Well, Castiel thinks, that’s not suspicious at all.“I know something you don’t.” Sam whispers conspiratorially.A frown takes residence on his face. “Of course you do. You study lore extensively.”Sam nods, “But it isn’t about lore. It’s about something more… personal.”“And are you going to share this knowledge with Dean and I?”“Dean? No way.” Sam says. “But you… maybe, if I can trust you.”“You can trust me.” he assures, wondering what this great secret will be.“Someone likes you.” Sam says softly, his eyes shining brightly with excitement. “As in the non-platonic, non-brotherly type of like that borders on true love.”Castiel tries to school his expression. Sam could be talking about anyone. There’s no need to be over eager.“And that person… is right here in the bunker.”That sends chills down Castiel’s spine.Sam beams even brighter, his hand moving to tuck his hair behind his ears. “Well first off, his hair is nice. He’s taller than you. He’s very stylish - when he has to be.”Dean likes him.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 181





	The Jester, The Fool And The Pizza-Man

“Hey Cass.” Sam says, pouring his cup of coffee.

He’s halfway out of the room when he suddenly turns back and smiles brightly at him. Well, Castiel thinks, that’s not suspicious at all.

“I know something you don’t.” Sam whispers conspiratorially.

A frown takes residence on his face. “Of course you do. You study the lore extensively.”

Sam nods, “But it isn’t about lore… it’s about something more… _personal_.”

“And are you going to share this knowledge with Dean and I?”

“Dean? No way.” Sam says. “But you… maybe, if I can trust you.”

“You can trust me.” he assures, wondering what this great secret will be.

“Someone likes you.” Sam says softly, his eyes shining brightly with excitement. “As in the non-platonic, non-brotherly type of like that borders on true love.”

Castiel tries to school his expression. Sam could be talking about anyone. There’s no need to be over eager.

“And that person… is right here in the bunker.”

That sends chills down Castiel’s spine.

Dean likes him.

Though, he can never be too sure.

“Can I have another hint?” he asks.

Sam beams even brighter, his hand moving to tuck his hair behind his ears. “Well first off, his hair is nice. He’s taller than you. He’s very stylish when he has to be.”

While it’s true that all of those things can describe Dean, they can also be used to describe Sam. In the end, it’s the hair that really gets him. Sam would never describe someone else’s hair as nicer than his own.

Many times he’s heard Sam going on and on about how Dean should take better care of his hair. The hours he spends in the bathroom.

It’s like his child. One that’s attached to his head… but it paints a clear picture as to how he feels about his hair.

“I know exactly who you’re talking about.” He says glumly.

Not sensing his distress, Sam just continues to grin at him, lifting his eyebrows in the most obnoxious way.

What feels like an hour passes before Sam finally leaves with another skin crawling wink.

Castiel listens to the way his footsteps retreat down the hall, before he jumps from his seat, making a mad dash for the one place he knows he’ll be safe from Sam: Dean’s room.

…

Dean huffs in indignation at Sam’s words.

No way.

No way in hell did Cass call him the Pizza-Man.

“How does that make sense Sam?” he demands, watching his brother’s face lighting up with sheer amusement. “Cass says the pizza-man taught him how to kiss. That definitely wasn’t me.” Dean was pissed with him then anyway.

Sam smirks. “He _did_ see you giving out lots of smooches.”

“But-”

“And you eat pizza a _lot_.”

Well, that’s true but –

“And Cass even told me about his crush.” Sam whispers. “He says it’s someone in the bunker. Someone with luxurious, beautiful hair.”

Dean throws his hands up. Why does he even bother? “He’s in love with _you_ dumbass.” He informs Sam, watching the confusion dance across his face.

His brother shakes his ‘luxurious, beautiful hair’ in incredulity. “It’s _got_ to be you Dean.”

“Why don’t we just bring hair up… casually? That way we can get a feel on whoever this ‘crush’ is.”

Sam must be lying. There’s no way Cass would admit to having a crush. First off, he wouldn’t even call it a crush, he’d say something more along the lines of: ‘I currently feel a bout of human emotion that may or may not be romantic in nature when I see you.’

The whole thing is fishy.

It would be pretty sweet if Cass suddenly developed a crush on him. It could be the opportunity he’d been waiting years for.

But before he lets himself get too excited, he has to remember that Cass hasn’t passed the test yet. He’s an easy read – more so when he’s fibbing. No way can Sam convince him to lie and even if he can, it won’t be anywhere near convincing.

…

“Heya Cass.” Dean says strolling into his room.

Castiel winces. It’s not like him to drop by ‘on the fly,’ so Dean may find this visit very suspicious.

Casitel almost swallows his tongue as Sam makes his way into the room. This was supposed to be a place far away from Sam. Why is he suddenly here?

“Remember that time when you asked me ‘how do you feel about lipstick, Dean?’”

“Of course.” He replies. It had been one of the highlights of his time as crazy Cass.

“Now, I’m asking you this with the same energy.” Dean says with a shaky voice. It makes him uneasy instantly. “How do you feel about my hair Cass?”

He feels the blood drain from his face as a number of things hit him all at once. First, it’s the realisation that Sam must have roped Dean in, in order to woo Castiel. The next thought is what sickens him: Dean had obviously agreed, which means that he doesn’t care who Castiel dates. He doesn’t care about Castiel in that way.

The nature of Dean’s feelings had plagued him for years and now here he is, receiving the answer loud and clear. It doesn’t feel like a weight off his shoulders… maybe because it wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear.

Now Sam and Dean are looking at him, waiting for an answer. He’s grown to like Sam. He does. Just not in that way.

Hopefully Dean can forgive him for hurting his brother.

“Your hair is fabulous Dean!” he chirps, “One of the finest specimens to be found on a human.”

Dean flushes, looking away. “Thanks Cass.”

That’s it?

No shouting? No ‘what’s wrong with my brother?’

Castiel is shell shocked. Dean seems almost… happy about this latest development.

Sam frowns. “I – um, I gotta go.” And with that he dashes out the door.

Dean approaches him cautiously. “So… Sam says you call me pizza-man.”

Castiel splutters. “I – I never told Sam that.” He does consider Dean to be the pizza-man but it’s not something that’s common knowledge.

“You’re not mad at me right?” he asks moving onto more pressing issues. He can still fix things if Dean believes the pizza-man thing, but if he’s upset over Sam? All bets are off.

“Why would I be mad?” Dean wonders with a tiny frown.

“Sam… his crush on me.” Cass says, bracing himself. Dean has been deceptively calm throughout this.

Ah. Here it comes. The storm clouds converge on Dean’s face. Castiel winces, fisting his arms.

“That bastard!” Dean growls. “He’s – I can’t believe he’s doing this to us.”

“Uh – what?”

“He’s playing us like… like fools.” Dean whispers, realisation dawning. “Cass, what’s the date today.”

“April first.” He says slowly, wondering what that has to do with anything.

“Sam is pranking us.” Dean says, flopping onto his bed. “He really had me going for a sec. He told you about his crush on you and gave you some hints about nice hair right?” Castiel nods. “Then he told me about the pizza-man thing and sent me in here to find out if your crush was on _me_.”

“Why would be do that?”

“Because he’s a little shit.” Dean says. “We have to get him back.”

“I know.” Castiel says suddenly. “We pour hair remover into his shampoo.”

“Woah there, satan.” Dean says with a grin. “Let’s… why don’t we let him think this scheme worked. That I think you like me and you think that I like you.”

“That’s… not a very good idea.” Castiel drawls.

Dean pouts. “Please. It’ll freak him out big time.”

“I’ll be your pizza-man.” Dean purrs next to his ear, sending shivers racing up his spine.

“Okay.” Castiel whispers, unable to do much else

Dean’s eyes widen, his hand clamping over his mouth in horror. “Oh my God!” he yells. “You _do_ feel something.”

“No!” he protests.

But it’s too late. Dean saw his reaction. Dean’s made up his mind.

The most stubborn man in the world has made his mind up about something. How is Castiel supposed to fix this.

“Yes, you do.” Dean says, removing his hand from his mouth. His eyes are still bulging out… but this time, in wonder.

“I do.” Castiel admits in defeat.

Dean is silent for some time, before his lips curve into a smile. “Good. Me too.”

It takes a while for the words to register. “You have feelings for me?” he gasps.

“Yeah. I do.”

“This is – this is perfect Dean.” He murmurs, the words still echoing inside his head as he tries to cement them in reality.

“We’re idiots Cass.” Dean says with a grin. “Now, let’s go kiss on the map table and scare the living shit out of our jester.”


End file.
